My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
