My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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