Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
