So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
