Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
