He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
