drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize