playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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