the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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