Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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