Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize