think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
