You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
