On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
