dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
someone owes me an orgasm
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
