she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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