I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
