Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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