That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
