just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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