Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
