Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So many bounce houses so little time
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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