We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
