When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
