I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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