you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she woke up with a sticky ear
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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