I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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