Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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