do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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