There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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