Got a toothbrush?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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