you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
