it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i think im in europe. pls send help
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
