There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
