I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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