we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
