Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
two words...techno handjob
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
