She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had sex on a roof
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
