Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
