This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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