Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
