weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
