so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize