yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
