We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
