found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
