Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
