her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need water and some morals
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
