If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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