All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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