Soap is not a condiment
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
