just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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