I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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