i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
