She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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