Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
